Although the ever-pretentious Madonna would probably argue that she is the undisputed Queen of flop, the dookie colored crown actually belongs to none other than Christina Aguilera—and rightfully so. The buxom (okay, fat) blonde’s newest single, “Your Body,” plummeted 30 spots this week on the Billboard Hot 100 from it’s lukewarm debut at No. 34. In case your math isn’t the greatest “Your Body” now resides at the No.64 position on the chart. The 30 spot skydive has earned Aggie the coveted ”biggest fall” of the week according to Billboard.
Comparatively, ”Not Myself Tonight,” the lead single from X-tina‘s ill-fated Bionic debuted at No.22 before nose-diving faster than the Titanic. Consequently, ”Tonight” was quickly labeled a flop by innocent bystanders and critics alike, which begs the question: If “Not Myself Tonight” was labeled a flop, then what the hell do we label “Your Body?” An ultra-mega flop? The flop of all flops?
The world may never know.
All of the floppiness aside, I will say that I’m a tad perplexed by “Your Body’s” radio/chart/iTunes performance. It’s actually a great song. It’s sexy, daring, and club-ready. Plus, it was produced by pop’s hottest hit-maker Max Martin, whose helped craft some of the biggest radio-smashes of our time. So what has gone wrong?
If I had to guess I’d say that it’s because Christina is hardly likable, a point proven in a recent interview (featured below) to promote her new album, Lotus. In the two-and-a-half minute clip the “Dirrty” singer proves she is her biggest fan by boasting about her powerhouse voice and musical masterpiece Bionic (gag). Moreover, it’s no secret that Christina has one of the nastiest, snootiest, most rotten attitudes in the business. The accounts can be found at every turn—take for example the boys of The Wanted, THIS interview, or even the endless claims from her own co-hosts on The Voice. The ugliness is obviously beginning to affect her career because unlike Bionic precursor “Your Body” is a good song and does deserve a boastful chart-run. I just hope Christina can clean up her image before it’s too late. I have a feeling that the release of Lotus on November 13 will tell all.
Until then, sit tight in your red-swivel chair, fasten your bedazzled diaper and witness the current Queen of Flop brag about her musical talents (below) and after that, be sure relish in the official Lotus album cover at the top of this post.