Although the ever-pretentious Madonna would probably argue that she is the undisputed Queen of flop, the dookie colored crown actually belongs to none other than Christina Aguilera—and rightfully so. The buxom (okay, fat) blonde’s newest single, “Your Body,” plummeted 30 spots this week on the Billboard Hot 100 from it’s lukewarm debut at No. 34. In case your math isn’t the greatest “Your Body” now resides at the No.64 position on the chart. The 30 spot skydive has earned Aggie the coveted ”biggest fall” of the week according to Billboard.
Comparatively, ”Not Myself Tonight,” the lead single from X-tina‘s ill-fated Bionic debuted at No.22 before nose-diving faster than the Titanic. Consequently, ”Tonight” was quickly labeled a flop by innocent bystanders and critics alike, which begs the question: If “Not Myself Tonight” was labeled a flop, then what the hell do we label “Your Body?” An ultra-mega flop? The flop of all flops?
The world may never know.
All of the floppiness aside, I will say that I’m a tad perplexed by “Your Body’s” radio/chart/iTunes performance. It’s actually a great song. It’s sexy, daring, and club-ready. Plus, it was produced by pop’s hottest hit-maker Max Martin, whose helped craft some of the biggest radio-smashes of our time. So what has gone wrong?
If I had to guess I’d say that it’s because Christina is hardly likable, a point proven in a recent interview (featured below) to promote her new album, Lotus. In the two-and-a-half minute clip the “Dirrty” singer proves she is her biggest fan by boasting about her powerhouse voice and musical masterpiece Bionic (gag). Moreover, it’s no secret that Christina has one of the nastiest, snootiest, most rotten attitudes in the business. The accounts can be found at every turn—take for example the boys of The Wanted, THIS interview, or even the endless claims from her own co-hosts on The Voice. The ugliness is obviously beginning to affect her career because unlike Bionic precursor “Your Body” is a good song and does deserve a boastful chart-run. I just hope Christina can clean up her image before it’s too late. I have a feeling that the release of Lotus on November 13 will tell all.
Until then, sit tight in your red-swivel chair, fasten your bedazzled diaper and witness the current Queen of Flop brag about her musical talents (below) and after that, be sure relish in the official Lotus album cover at the top of this post.
Besos, y’all!
Georgie October 9, 2012 at 8:57 PM
CTFU, you are so hard on my girl! I do agree with you on the likability factor to a certain extent, although I doubt it will hurt her career much. In this day and age so many ppl, even fans, are pirating music. Not that that’s OK, but it’s true. Her lyrics alone tell a different story than her personality does, & I personally know how it is to be misunderstood. I appreciate her honesty, and vulnerability as an artist. Especially in tracks like ‘Save me from myself’, and ‘I am’ Something I’d like to see out of your ‘God’ one of these days… Now if only Xtina would stop trying so hard to be @ the top of the Pop charts, she should just put out music and let it speak for itself. Her voice alone can do all the work for her. Look @ Adele! All I know is a love the bitch, and I’m looking forward to ‘Blank Page’, and ‘Army of Me’!!
Georgie October 9, 2012 at 9:11 PM
BTW, the gum incident was taken out of context here! The full video proves that a fan literally asked for that piece of gum! Hard to believe that ppl actually collect that kind of stuff! I myself, being one of her biggest fans would never want a piece of her chewed up gum! Gross!
G.A. October 16, 2012 at 3:16 AM
First of all she is untalented. Having a powerful voice is not a talent but a physical feature. Second, she has a horrible personality. She disses all the other female artists but it’s funny that she is also imitating them. Third, she came out as one of the imitators of Britney Spears. This girl just followed Britney’s footsteps but imitations are never respected as the originals.Fourth, she has no X factor. She has no light on the stage, and she is boring. Nobody cares her. The result: Nobody wants to buy her records although it’s produced by Max Martin.. This girl should quit.. She sucks..